


The Cost of Silence

by Anonymous



Category: Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:14:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23910637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Relationships: Dan Levy/Noah Reid
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27
Collections: Anonymous





	The Cost of Silence

_Dan, why are you shutting me out?_

_What did I do?_

Dan read the text and winced.

**Why do you think I’m shutting you out?**

_Um, for one you won’t repost any of my stuff_

_You won’t comment or like it anymore, either_

_I know I’m hardly online, but I still notice, Dan_

_It’s music stuff, and you always used to support me_

_What’s going on?_

Dan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his fingers getting tangled in the curls near the ends. He yanked his hand out and rubbed his scalp. He really needed a haircut.

**I’m annoyed**

It wasn’t a complete lie. He was annoyed.

_Okay?_

_Why are you annoyed?_

**I keep seeing people post stuff of you socializing**

**And not wearing a mask**

**And it’s annoying**

**You should know better**

**People around you should definitely know better**

_You’re shutting me out because I’m not wearing a mask?_

**Partially**

_Partially._

_Okay, why else?_

Dan sighed and walked outside to sit on a deck chair. Better to have this conversation in the sun. Redman followed him out and plunked down on the cement next to him. Dan reached down and ruffled his fur before staring at his phone again.

**You’re there**

**I’m here**

_Um, that’s been the case for a while, Dan_

**Yeah, but before, we had the option of seeing each other**

**I had the ability to hop on a plane and meet up with you**

**So, the distance wasn’t such a thing like it is now**

_This will all end eventually, Dan_

**Not if people like you don’t start wearing masks!**

_Wow, okay_

_I’ll be more aware of that, alright?_

**I mean, I don’t know why you’re not already**

**You should be, given the people around you**

_Okay, so I feel like there is more to this_

_You’re upset about more than just the masks_

**Of course I am**

_Care to tell me why?_

Dan groaned and leaned back, letting his arm trail down to the ground. Red gave the back of his hand a couple fortifying licks, and Dan raised it back the phone.

**What was January to you, Noah?**

**Or February?**

**If this shut down hadn’t happened, would we have continued whatever that was?**

**Or was that just you letting off some steam before you went back to your real life?**

_You really think that was me just letting off steam?_

**You don’t seem too bothered that we can’t do it again anytime soon**

**You seem pretty happy with what you got going on**

_You think I’m happy?_

**I don’t know, you tell me**

_I’m not happy, Dan_

_I’m just making due with the situation I’m currently in_

**Could have fooled me**

_Dan, I sang you songs on like last live and you didn’t even log in to watch_

_I noticed_

_That hurt a lot_

**I watched it later**

_Did you know they were for you?_

**At first I thought maybe, but then your commentary made me think otherwise**

_I’m just telling people what they want to hear_

_It makes life easier right now_

_You should have known that, Dan_

_You’re the king of doing that in interviews_

**I don’t know what’s in your head, Noah, because you never tell me**

**So, how the hell would I know what’s true right now?**

_Dan, the last couple times we saw each other were true, okay?_

_That wasn’t just me getting something out of my system_

_I’d wanted you forever and I still do_

_It was real for me_

**It was real for me, too**

_So, you’re shutting me out why?_

**Because, how can this possibly work?**

**We can’t travel, so we can’t see each other**

**You’re there in a situation you are “making due” with**

**Which, honestly, does not give me much confidence in the possibility of us working out, long term**

**I feel like the idea of us is a nothing but a pipe dream**

**Maybe we should just look back on those nights together as pleasant memories**

_They were more than pleasant, Dan_

_You fucking know that_

**I know, I was there**

**But, sentiment remains the same**

_I didn’t cause this quarantine, Dan_

_Why are you punishing me for it?_

**I know you didn’t, but it came at a really weird time for us**

**Almost like a sign**

_Oh, okay, so a virus wiping out half the world happened because the universe is telling us we shouldn’t be together?_

_That’s logical_

**I don’t know, Noah!**

**Maybe?**

_Dan, you’re being ridiculous_

_I was going to see you again last month_

_You were coming to my concerts_

_We were going to be together on the Farewell Tour_

**I know, and now we’re not**

**You know how much that hurts?**

_Of course I do!_

_It hurts me too_

**Again, could have fooled me**

_Jesus fucking Christ, Dan_

_Do you want me to cry on Instagram?_

_Would that prove to you how much I fucking hate this?_

**Well, that might help**

_Okay, I can’t with you right now_

_This is dumb_

**Hey, you asked**

**I’m just telling you how I feel**

_Well, here’s something to take into account_

_I love you_

_You fucking idiot_

_And my life sucks right now because I can’t be with you_

_But it is what it is, and in order to not jump off a bridge, I’m trying to make due_

_Cut me a little slack_

_This isn’t fun for me_

Dan stared at his phone, his eyes watering. How the hell was he supposed to respond to that? They’d never said the L-word, not even during those long nights wrapped in each other’s arms.

_What? No response? Cat got your tongue?_

**Do you mean that?**

_Of course I mean it!_

_How could you believe any different?_

_You know how it is between us_

_How it was between us, those nights we were together_

**I need some time to figure this out, Noah**

**This is a lot for me to deal with**

**All of this**

**You’re so far away**

_I know I am!_

_And I wish it was different_

_Just don’t shut me out, please?_

_Don’t give up on us_

**I need to think**

_Can you at least tell me?_

**Tell you what?**

_How you feel_

_Do you feel the same?_

_Is it the same for you?_

Dan blinked, trying to see through the tears. Red stood on his hind legs and licked his arm.

“Thanks, buddy,” he whispered.

**It’s the same**

**I love you**

**I just don’t know if that’s enough**

**Give me some time, Noah**

With that, he turned off his phone and stared out at the pool, the rippling of the water somehow soothing him as he sobbed.


End file.
